- Person: I'll take an Indian taco.
- Native vendor: we don't have fry bread!
there’s a shooting at my school
I really hope the kids and faculty are safe 0_0
A horror movie trailer:
a frat boy and his girlfriend are vacationing on a beach in the deep south. after some late-night swimming they find that they can’t relocate their motel, and end up in a small farmhouse.
it seems to be abandoned, inside they find an aged photo of a man and a woman who appear to be engaged at the time. cue weird, creaky noises.
fade to black, tagline: [He brought disaster wherever he went….]
suddenly, the shack starts to get really cold, like a midwinter storm, a flash of lightning! a skeletal man smiles at them from the window, there’s the sound of a gun loading
the boy shouts, “where did he come from?”
another flash of lighting, everything goes dark again. the wind howls. the skeletal man is gone.
the girl shrieks, “where did he GO?”
the screen fades to black, and the movie title appears on the screen:
C O T T O N - E Y E J O E
#closing scene: #frat boy kneeling over the grave of his dead girlfriend #he has aged quite a few years and has a ring clenched in his palm as he cries #’if it hadn’t been for cotton eye joe…’ #’i’d be married a long time ago’ #he gets slowly to his feet as rain starts to pour relentlessly #his voice rises above the whipping wind #’where did you COME FROM?! WHERE DID YOU GO?!!!’ #he throws his head back and with his last breath shrieks #’WHERE DID YOU COME FROM COTTON EYE JOE?!!!!’
Queen Liliuokalani: Hawaiian princess during the 1800’s who must defend her land from a scorned volcano spirit that swears to destroy all of Hawaii.
Princess Kaguya: Japanese folktale princess who is raised by the emperor and soon discovers her inherent alien abilities as a resident of the Moon, deals with social exclusion while simultaneously butting heads with a kitsune.
Calamity Jane: Native American non-princess a la Mulan who deals with mystical creatures she must defeat while on the Western Frontier because she is the only one who knows the dangers of the land (like Wendigos and Cactus Cats).
Maria Pistolas: Hispanic non-princess who rescues unjustly arrested revolutionaries during the Mexican Revolution against Spain.
Queen Hatshepsut: Egyptian pharaoh who is cursed to become a wolf at night by the Egyptian gods and must discover a cure after realizing she has killed her entire family and become monarch.
Princess Romanework: Ethiopian princess who must venture into Italy in hopes of escaping death due to being a twin and experiences culture shock.
“England is just a small island. Its roads and houses are small. With few exceptions, it doesn’t make things that people in the rest of the world want to buy. And if it hadn’t been separated from the continent by water, it almost certainly would have been lost to Hitler’s ambitions.” — Mitt Romney
i somehow feel like the republicans are trying to lose this election.
Canada is just up here hiding and hoping their stupidity isn’t catching.